So amongst my "Drafts" in my G-mail, I had a few incidences that I never got the chance to blog about. So for your additionally enjoyment, I would like you to now put in Disc Two and enjoy the Special Features "Deleted Scenes" from my Bathroom Experience.
- Her hair is fucking EVERYWHERE.
- Pube on my face! Pube ON MY FACE! Oh dear God, WHY?!?!
- If I have to hear about my roommate tits one more time, or move her bras from hanging on the shower to hanging else where, I am going to FLIP A SHIT!
- I always "scare" her when she comes into the room. I always startle her, and she seems upset with me. When the lights are ON and you obviously had them off when you left, and when you can hear someone typing on my SIDE then it is PROBABLY ME IN THE ROOM. Or it's her, using my side, lounging on my bed, with her feet and my Ethernet. I wouldn't be surprised if she accidentally surprised herself. I really wouldn't.
- Toilet Paper in the shower. I'm not even going to try to figure that one out.
- She scratches all over her body every night before she goes to sleep. It REALLY skeeves me out.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Day 62/63 - Wipe up
So the end of my fellowship was finally upon us. This meant several things - 1) I was now legit going into the real world. I had a job and had to begin transitioning into a real person. But 2) It meant my time with bathroomie was finally coming to an end.
But in true Bathroomie style you know the end of our relationship wasn't just going to fizzle out. If it was ending, it was ending with a bang.
It's the last night so obviously we were going out and drinking heavily. I had gone out to buy liquor and was coming back to my room before I got all dolled up and became the lush you all know and love.
I walk into my room and my roommate is on my bed, with her laptop, EATING RAMEN.
ON MY BED.
She was EATING.
RAMEN.
ON MY BED.
Since it's the last day I'm feeling a little gutsy so I go:
"Roomie, what are you doing?"
"Girl, you know the Internet doesn't work on my side."
"I mean I get that. But like, it doesn't mean you can just lounge on my side."
"Ok. Alright. Chill out."
And with that she got up and went back to her side.
"You goin' out tonight?" She asked me.
"Yeah, a bunch of us are. You coming?"
"Girl, I dunno. I'm not really good with goodbyes."
"Well I mean, tonight's more of a celebration, tomorrow we'll worry about goodbyes."
"Nah, girl, I have work to do."
I said that was fine, but that I needed to get ready. I mean I guess it's kind of endearing that she was going to be sad to say bye to all of us. But then I went into the bathroom to shower.
- No toilet paper
- Panties hanging on the door (hanging over / TOUCHING MY TOWEL)
- A HUGE ball of hair clogging the drain
- And a strange horrible smell permeating from the bowl.
She never did disappoint.
I showered and got ready. Uneventful. She just remained on her computer on the bed. No further incidences.
I made my drink and said bye, and that I would see her later.
I left, but a few minutes later I realized I had forgotten my cell phone.
I went back into my room and sure enough there she was, on my side, except instead of sitting on my bed she was scrubbing it with a sponge.
Yup. She had spilt some of her Ramen on my bed.
"Sorry girl, I slipped."
Shocked, I grabbed my cell phone off the kitchen counter where I left it.
"Roomie," I said, "I'm sorry, but that's not ok. Please don't hang out on my side of the room."
"Well I need the Internet" was her reply.
"Whatever." And I walked out.
Part of me hoped that would be the last thing I ever needed to say to her. But it wasn't. The next morning she was still there when I awoke. We didn't really speak. Her train was leaving before I was so she left first.
"Well," she said, "It's been real."
"It's definitely been something." I responded.
And then, out of no where, she gives me this HUGE hug. And says, "Good luck with everything."
I told her the same.
She sighed and said, "Shit, now how am I going to get all this stuff downstairs by myself." Referring to her copious amounts of luggage.
My father who was there helping me pack up told her not to worry, he'd help her out. To which she responded with "Thanks!" And then grabbed her backpack, leaving my poor father to carry her two huge suitcases. He told me it was the most awkward elevator ride he's ever experienced.
He didn't care to elaborate.
And to think, after the hug I almost felt bad for the blog. But I mean it's one thing to fuck with me. It's another thing to fuck with my daddy.
And then she was out of my life...
...or so I thought.
Stay tuned for more, because it's coming.
But in true Bathroomie style you know the end of our relationship wasn't just going to fizzle out. If it was ending, it was ending with a bang.
It's the last night so obviously we were going out and drinking heavily. I had gone out to buy liquor and was coming back to my room before I got all dolled up and became the lush you all know and love.
I walk into my room and my roommate is on my bed, with her laptop, EATING RAMEN.
ON MY BED.
She was EATING.
RAMEN.
ON MY BED.
Since it's the last day I'm feeling a little gutsy so I go:
"Roomie, what are you doing?"
"Girl, you know the Internet doesn't work on my side."
"I mean I get that. But like, it doesn't mean you can just lounge on my side."
"Ok. Alright. Chill out."
And with that she got up and went back to her side.
"You goin' out tonight?" She asked me.
"Yeah, a bunch of us are. You coming?"
"Girl, I dunno. I'm not really good with goodbyes."
"Well I mean, tonight's more of a celebration, tomorrow we'll worry about goodbyes."
"Nah, girl, I have work to do."
I said that was fine, but that I needed to get ready. I mean I guess it's kind of endearing that she was going to be sad to say bye to all of us. But then I went into the bathroom to shower.
- No toilet paper
- Panties hanging on the door (hanging over / TOUCHING MY TOWEL)
- A HUGE ball of hair clogging the drain
- And a strange horrible smell permeating from the bowl.
She never did disappoint.
I showered and got ready. Uneventful. She just remained on her computer on the bed. No further incidences.
I made my drink and said bye, and that I would see her later.
I left, but a few minutes later I realized I had forgotten my cell phone.
I went back into my room and sure enough there she was, on my side, except instead of sitting on my bed she was scrubbing it with a sponge.
Yup. She had spilt some of her Ramen on my bed.
"Sorry girl, I slipped."
Shocked, I grabbed my cell phone off the kitchen counter where I left it.
"Roomie," I said, "I'm sorry, but that's not ok. Please don't hang out on my side of the room."
"Well I need the Internet" was her reply.
"Whatever." And I walked out.
Part of me hoped that would be the last thing I ever needed to say to her. But it wasn't. The next morning she was still there when I awoke. We didn't really speak. Her train was leaving before I was so she left first.
"Well," she said, "It's been real."
"It's definitely been something." I responded.
And then, out of no where, she gives me this HUGE hug. And says, "Good luck with everything."
I told her the same.
She sighed and said, "Shit, now how am I going to get all this stuff downstairs by myself." Referring to her copious amounts of luggage.
My father who was there helping me pack up told her not to worry, he'd help her out. To which she responded with "Thanks!" And then grabbed her backpack, leaving my poor father to carry her two huge suitcases. He told me it was the most awkward elevator ride he's ever experienced.
He didn't care to elaborate.
And to think, after the hug I almost felt bad for the blog. But I mean it's one thing to fuck with me. It's another thing to fuck with my daddy.
And then she was out of my life...
...or so I thought.
Stay tuned for more, because it's coming.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Bathroomie returns to a toilet near you!
To my readers,
I do apologize. It's been far too long. As my summer fellowship was wrapping up my life both simultaneously evolved and fell apart. I slipped into a minor depression that was fueled by loneliness and poverty, however this blog is not the time or the place to air out that nonsense. That's for one of those blogs that's all about people's personal feelings and inner thoughts, and let's be honest, the only people who read those are the ones who write them.
Never fear my loyal readers, I have returned in full swing to finally "wipe up" my Bathroomie experience that took place this summer.
I also have some "DVD Extras" which I think you will enjoy.
PLUS...New Material.
Bet you didn't see that one coming.
So sit back, relax, spread your cheeks, and get ready.
Bathroomie has returned!
Look for tomorrow's post which will finally clear up what happened when Bathroomie and I went our separate ways.
I do apologize. It's been far too long. As my summer fellowship was wrapping up my life both simultaneously evolved and fell apart. I slipped into a minor depression that was fueled by loneliness and poverty, however this blog is not the time or the place to air out that nonsense. That's for one of those blogs that's all about people's personal feelings and inner thoughts, and let's be honest, the only people who read those are the ones who write them.
Never fear my loyal readers, I have returned in full swing to finally "wipe up" my Bathroomie experience that took place this summer.
I also have some "DVD Extras" which I think you will enjoy.
PLUS...New Material.
Bet you didn't see that one coming.
So sit back, relax, spread your cheeks, and get ready.
Bathroomie has returned!
Look for tomorrow's post which will finally clear up what happened when Bathroomie and I went our separate ways.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Day 61
In the middle of the night something crashed off her bed making a HUGE EXPLOSIVE sound.
She then proceeded to scream SHIT!! Jump out of bed and turn on all the lights.
It was her computer. She always sleeps with her computer on the bed. Which I think is a stupid idea because you might kick it (which she did) and it might crash to the floor (which it did).
After she calmed down she said, "That scared the shit outta me." And then went into the bathroom for, no joke, 35 minutes.
I guess she meant that literally.
Tonight is our last night together, and tomorrow we say goodbye.
Call me a masochist, but you know, I think I may miss it a little.
Kidding.
She then proceeded to scream SHIT!! Jump out of bed and turn on all the lights.
It was her computer. She always sleeps with her computer on the bed. Which I think is a stupid idea because you might kick it (which she did) and it might crash to the floor (which it did).
After she calmed down she said, "That scared the shit outta me." And then went into the bathroom for, no joke, 35 minutes.
I guess she meant that literally.
Tonight is our last night together, and tomorrow we say goodbye.
Call me a masochist, but you know, I think I may miss it a little.
Kidding.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Day 59
(August 3, 2010)
Someone finally learned out to take out the garbage. Good thing with only 4 days left. They grow up so quickly.
Someone finally learned out to take out the garbage. Good thing with only 4 days left. They grow up so quickly.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Day 58 - cont.
There are now also 2 moldy milk cartons in my refrigerator. Neither of which is mine. Both of which are almost full to the top.
Now forget everything else, but that is just wasteful!
I guess she figured the half full Popeye's to-go containers needed some company.
Now forget everything else, but that is just wasteful!
I guess she figured the half full Popeye's to-go containers needed some company.
Day 58 - Round deux
So after spending the weekend at my boyfriends and finishing up my first day of my new job I returned home to:
1) A pink-ish, brown-ish, but mostly pink-ish, ring around the inside of our toilet bowl. I don't even want to venture a guess on why it is pink-ish.
2) The new roll of toilet paper that I had replaced just on Friday, gone down to just the cardboard inner tube that remained naked on the toilet paper holder. With the new roll (that I had also purchased immediately before we even ran out of her share) sitting on the sink NOT replacing the empty cylinder.
3) A clogged toilet.
4) Dirty panties...crotch out.
Some people really enjoy Deja Vu.
Those people never lived with Bathroomie.
1 Week to go.
1) A pink-ish, brown-ish, but mostly pink-ish, ring around the inside of our toilet bowl. I don't even want to venture a guess on why it is pink-ish.
2) The new roll of toilet paper that I had replaced just on Friday, gone down to just the cardboard inner tube that remained naked on the toilet paper holder. With the new roll (that I had also purchased immediately before we even ran out of her share) sitting on the sink NOT replacing the empty cylinder.
3) A clogged toilet.
4) Dirty panties...crotch out.
Some people really enjoy Deja Vu.
Those people never lived with Bathroomie.
1 Week to go.
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